Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 12 The Final

When was the last time you took a trip by charabanc? It used to be the highlight of the year for many. Before the planet shrank. Before the air became flooded with Sir Frank Whittle’s finest. Before the country became covered with tarmac, self-combusting engines and individuals. Maybe it was the visit to the seaside,...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 10 Quarter Finals

You may not be aware of it, certainly until the turn of the last century I hadn’t a clue, but at this time of the year, all over the country, dance schools are preparing for their Christmas Shows, their annual showcase of the year’s classes, the chance for mums and dads to watch Jasmin and...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 9

In 1982 I was on crickit tour in Somerset and Devon with my club, Whitley Bridge. Amidst the group was number two son, a cupple of years my senior, a brilliant fielder, a mediocre bowler and a great batter. At Budleigh Salterton I went in at number three, he at four, and we shared the...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 8 Wembley

When I was very young, playing hangman in a dormobile one summer holiday, I hung my dad and all my brothers. The crickiter in question, that they couldn’t get, was the Yorkshire and England opener, G. Cott. Of course, it should have been Boycott. The name Cott stayed thereafter whenever we mentioned the maestro. So...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 7

Things are not always what you think. A few years ago I was listening to someone talk about Robinson Crusoe and how Man Friday was just a figment of his imagination. I found this shocking. For thirty-five years I had thought that Friday was a native from another island. Instead he never actually existed. I...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 6

Saturday night was bonfire night, a night to celebrate the death of a bad guy who tried to blow up the House of Lords or rather, celebrate the safety of King James. He was a game boy (see that for product placement?), Guido Fawkes, Guy, a Yorkshire mercenary who died from a broken neck that...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 5 – Halloween

When Juddge Lulu was ickle I was forced to pay a three figure sum to help finance a Halloween party. As you can tell I didn’t resent it. Maybe this was the day that my apathy for this imposed celebration began? I don’t do subjugation well. However, even with this deep-rooted belief the weekend was...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 4

It has been an eventful week, a week dominated by change, upsets and challenges. Mike Tindall’s gran is on her farewell tour of Australia. Manchester City rolled over their more famous neighbours last Sunday netting six times. Are the reds now destined for relative obscurity? France stood up to the plate in the Rugby World...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 3

I’m sure that most of you will have heard of the passing this week of Minnie Driver’s great aunt, Betty, fondly remembered for her days in the West End, the small and big screen, and for her fictitious hot pot at The Rovers Return. Betty Turpin was just 91. As life expectancy extends further in...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 2

I’m not sure that many folk reading this missive will remember the good old days, those quondam days when your fun was playing out till it got dark, summer holidays that went on forever, grass cuttings that reminded you of Wimbledon and village crickit, when you went to bed exhausted and listened to a tranny...

Strictly 2011 Series 9 – Week 1

We were cruising around Lake Geneva in August. The Alps were alpine, high and mighty, the peaks dusted in snow, nice top, the water still, deep, blue, the air warm, temperate, our bodies recovering from Lord Ted’s 50th the night before. Ice creams were three Swiss Euros, lagers four; we were grateful that grandma got...
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